Have you heard my new Christmas Single yet? Download it now, and if you want to know where all the ideas come from read on…
Well, whatever happens to me now, I have had a Christmas single. If I were a rock star, that must surely be some kind of right of passage along with chucking your first TV out of a hotel window and being arrested for doing something deeply unpleasant in the 70s.
The ‘Ultimate’ Christmas No.1 was about working out all the tricks of the trade to get a song to the top slot. And if you want to know how we worked them out, here are five of our inspirations…
1. Random List of Christmassy Things
The Christmas Song – Mel Tormé
‘Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose…’ – yes, Mel, these are the things that happen when it gets a bit chilly. Most festive ditties have a similar random list somewhere.
Mistletoe and Wine – Cliff Richard
‘Nuff said. In fact, this could be ‘Cliff Richard EVERYTHING’
3. Bit of Jesus
Mary’s Boy Child – Harry Belafonte
One of my favourite things about the Ultimate Christmas No.1 is tossing in ‘Jesus too!’ like an afterthought after the random list. Because, and I hope you can go with this whether you are a believer or not, the commercialisation of Christ makes me want to puke. And I quote: ‘Long time ago in Bethlehem, So the Holy Bible say (sic), Mary’s boy child, Jesus Christ, Was born on Christmas Day’. Sorry Harry but I don’t think the Bible specifically say anything of the kind. And ‘Mary’s Boy Child?’ – that would be Mary’s SON wouldn’t it?
4. Do it for Charity
Do They Know it’s Christmas – Band Aids
We all get a warm fuzzy feeling when thinking about DTKiC but if you take out all the good works, it’s all a bit icky. Sorry, but… ’Africa…where nothing ever grows, no rain or river flows’. What, the whole continent!? Fellas, get out of your Learjet: it’s not all bloated children with flies on their faces. BUT and to answer the question: no THEY probably DON’T know it’s Christmas but not for the reasons you are thinking. Mohammadmas – now that could be something but probably with less community singing.
5. Massive Key Change
I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
What exactly a key change is might be a bit of a mystery unless got your Grade 5 Musical Theory. Essentially, if you imagine a pianist playing a song, stopping and moving his/her hands wholesale up a bit on the keyboard then carrying on – that is a key change. The song remains the same but it’s all a bit, well, higher. The gold standard of key changes is Whitney Houston. About 3/4 into the song, there’s a short silence, a big whack on a drum then Whitney belts out ‘ANNND IIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOU’ a bit higher. We had that idea years ago, naturally, just that Whitney got there first.