I’m about to take on what feels like the impossible: cram Wagner’s 16-hour Ring Cycle into a single, high-energy hour and not leaving feeling that the only way to achieve closure is invade Poland. It’s called “Wagner’s Ring for people who can’t be bothered to sit through it,” because truth in advertising matters. I’ll have my keyboard, a weaponised slide show, and just enough German to know that Götterdämmerung is not, in fact, “God-dammit!”
Brevity is the soul of wit but definitely not the soul of Wagner. So, tackling this comically, like actually funny not just in-jokes for people who have sat through it, is going to be like trying to have sex in a hammock (er…I imagine). Granted, assorted witty souls have tried it before: horsey Brit Anna Russell blazed the trail with her immortal “I’m not making this up, you know,” turning genealogical chaos into cabaret clarity. Peter Schickele (PDQ Bach) fired a coupla salvos in the direction of Wagner. If you really must, you can consider my show a modern heir to that stuff —but built for the age of swipe-left attention spans and right-now punchlines.
Why will mine be better? Three reasons. First, interactivity: you won’t just watch Valhalla burn; you’ll help light the match. Second, ruthless Germanic efficiency: I bin the opera-house waffle and keep the gold—comedy nuggets, story, and the good tunes. Think highlights-only sport: every move is a goal, every four bars a laugh (The Scotsman’s words, not mine). Third, I’m still standing whereas Russell and Schickele are (sadly) now touring with Jesus. (I met them both once, you know).
So, whether you’re a professor of music or someone who can’t tell a tenor from a toaster, or even if you are just curious, come along. I’ll take you from the first ripple of the Rhinemaidens to the final apocalyptic chord in 65 minutes flat. Boom. Finished. Now get on with your day—smarter, smugger, and slightly more Wagner than your friends.
‘Wagner’s Ring for people who can’t be bothered to sit through it’
17th-29th August (not Sunday 23rd)
13:50 Royal Scots Club
Edinburgh
Tickets HERE
